


So You Think Your Number One?

by GlanniGlamour



Category: LazyTown
Genre: FIGHT TO THE DEATH XD naw, Heart-Warming, Insert OC, Robbie considers himself the Father of the children, Villain battle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-16 02:27:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10561862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlanniGlamour/pseuds/GlanniGlamour
Summary: When a new villain steps into town, Robbie is faced with the threat of being thrown out, letting the newer villain take his place. Fortunately, Robbie isn't about to let this happen.Those are HIS brats. This is HIS town.And no one messes with the Number One Villain.





	1. Nuevo Villano

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: @yas-glanniglamour   
> Twitter: @Bombredon 
> 
> You are all beautiful and amazing people..thank you for reading!

The cobblestone street crackled under his sleek combat boots and he left a bit of dust in his wake, the pavement about a decade old and had only been repaved once since the town’s founding. He took in a breath of the fresh air that filled the quaint village, the smell of fresh fruit and vegetables wafting into his nose and filling him with longing. He would have died to be able to eat something nutritious, but that wasn’t his purpose of being here. He would have to wait until he settled his agreements with the Mayor and displayed his course of action on this fair village before he was to be given ANY food. 

His name was Esteban Ramirez, a man of many exotic talents and reverie, and was known among the Western Hemisphere as the ‘Noche *blank spanish word for phantom*’ because of his nightly raids and the way he could simply vanish into thin air without a trace. After spending his last couple of years pillaging and terrorizing America and Mexico, as well as some parts of South America, he figured it would be smart to move on to the Eastern Hemisphere in order to avoid being caught by the FBI (whom of which had already tracked down his whereabouts and information). 

That was when he discovered a small town in Iceland in the middle of complete nowhere with barely any access to the outside world: LazyTown

LazyTown, from what he had discovered from hacking into their small computer server that seemed to be ran by a child, was completely sheltered and didn’t have much communication with the outside world. The only communication they did have was satellite signals pinpointing to their existence, but they weren’t seen as a presence other than that. 

This was the chance of a lifetime. He could take control of his own town without any cops on his trail and make his own Utopia there! No one would care if something bad happened here and there, because the outside world wouldn’t be paying attention. He would perform his last and greatest disappearing act! 

So here he was, pacing the streets of the small village and twiddling his thumbs, allowing his feet to lead him to the Mayor’s Town Hall building in the middle of town. He didn’t exactly know how he was going to approach the Mayor...he was asking if he could take over the town for crying out loud. He puffed his chest out and took a deep breath, walking straight towards the building until suddenly he hit something soft and chubby and he toppled over. 

A small boy, not even seven yet, looked down at the silly man as he growled in disgust, apparently enjoying the fact that he was able to knock down someone taller than him.

“Oh, you must be new! We don’t get many visitors here!” Ziggy greeted Esteban with complete admiration and awe, his eyes wide as he looked at the funny man who wore high-rise combat boots, skinny jeans, and a ripped tank top that had a terrifying character plastered upon it. 

“U..em..yes.” Esteban didn’t know how to approach the child’s overzealous behavior and his eyebrow raised, oddly taking note that the child did not ONCE say anything about how he was dressed or looked..almost as if he accepted him for who he was. 

“Oh! That’s good! I’ll take you to the Mayor so he can meet you as well!” Ziggy reached out his pudgy hand that was sticky from snacking on candy and Esteban looked at it oddly, his stomach retracting because of the ickiness of the child’s hand but he knew he had to trick the town before taking over, so he grabbed it reluctantly. 

The boy led him to the City Hall and opened the large coliseum-like doors, pulling Esteban into the lobby and straight towards the Mayor’s office. Apparently the child did not need to speak to the secretary in order to get into the office, for the woman at the desk just gave him a curt nod and allowed the child to completely bypass checking in. What kind of TOWN was this? 

The Mayor was a short and stout gentleman with caramel skin and big brown eyes (pss. Blue? Gotta check that), and he wore a yellow-orange suit with a red tie. He looked to be around 40 years of age and was going through various forms and files, noticeably busy. Although Esteban had made the observation that the Mayor did NOT want to be disturbed, the child ran right up to him, throwing himself on the older man’s lap and smiling giddily. 

Instead of reprimanding him like any SANE adult would do, the Mayor chuckled softly and ruffled the boy’s hair. 

“Ah, Ziggy, nice of you to visit me! I needed some excitement in my office..” The Mayor suddenly looked up and noticed Esteban’s presence, a wide grin forming across his face. “A new visitor! Well welcome to Lazytown, e..eh-” 

“Esteban, sir,” Esteban replied curtly, trying to appear nice but knowing he was only deceiving them into trusting him. “Esteban Ramirez.” 

“Ah, Esteban! Sounds exotic and foreign! We don’t get a lot of visitors in LazyTown these days, considering we are pretty much in the middle of nowhere, but it is so nice to see someone new!” 

The Mayor let Ziggy down onto the floor and lifted himself out of the comfy office chair, stretched his back, and then proceeded to stick out his hand for Esteban to shake. Fortunately, the Mayor’s hand was NOT covered in any sticky substances, so he was glad to give the man a firm pump. The Mayor then placed his hand around Esteban’s shoulder like a father to a son, and pulled him away so Ziggy could not hear. 

“I..want to know exactly why you are here...considering we are shut off in such a way from the world. It is definitely uncommon for a newcomer to arrive. Are you here for trade? Business? Sight-seeing?” 

Esteban took a deep breath and looked at the man with a stern grin, trying to look as pleasant and innocent as possible. “I am here to stay. I plan on purchasing a house and moving in...I liked how inclusive it is here and how I won’t be bothered.” 

“Ah, okay. I was thinking you were here to possibly do something dastardly….but of course we already have someone doing that-” 

“WHO!?” Esteban roared with too much anger towards the smaller man and almost frightened him to death, and it took a bit of coaxing to get him back to talking. I need to watch my anger..

“His na..name is Robbie Rotten. He lives in an underground lair behind the billboard at the edge of town! He’s been here for decades...surprised the man still looks extremely young for how long he’s been here..it’s like he’s never aged..hm-” 

“Where can I meet this Robbie character?” Esteban tried to hide the growl that was forcing it’s way through clenched teeth. There was NO way someone else was going to take his position in this town...LazyTown was HIS for the keeping. Whoever this ROBBIE was, he wasn’t about to be a resident in LazyTown any longer.

All he had to do was convince everyone in town that he was the better Villain! That wasn’t a difficult task, for Esteban was on the FBI hitlist and he was known by many. There was no way a guy with a weird surname like ‘Rotten’ could ever be better than a high-class criminal with more experience! 

“Oh! Usually he is out and about, watching the children play. I see him in the bushes a lot..he’s kind of odd..but it’s just part of his quirks, I suppose!” 

Okay, maybe the guy was a nutcase. Maybe this WOULD be easier than I expected. He rubbed his chin as he thought about plans for getting rid of Robbie. “Alright, I’ll go look for him! Thank you for the tip.” 

With that, Esteban was out the door and into the village square, checking every bush and every possible hiding place for the odd, stalkerish character named ‘Robbie Rotten’, not knowing that he was being watched the entire time from a periscope. 

Robbie grinned, looking at the man from his hiding place underneath the city. 

“Try me, fraud.”


	2. Meet Number One

Robbie was definitely and absolutely not in the mood for this. 

He sat back in his fluffy chair, grimacing at the ceiling as he tried to think through his alternatives. Whoever the new visitor was, he was definitely mad when Robbie’s name was mentioned. If he was here for good purposes, he wouldn’t have become so defensive when it was mentioned that Robbie was the town villain. Of course, the Mayor was a very oblivious man and extremely naive, so it didn’t come as a surprise to Robbie when he wholeheartedly accepted the visitor’s completely fake proclamation of goodness. 

It was disgusting, the way the man had tricked them all into believing he was a good person. Of course, it wasn’t like Robbie hadn’t done the same before...multiple times...and even when he was Glanni Glaepur he still found some way to deceive everyone in his wake. The difference between them, however, was that Robbie mainly did his deceiving to have fun with the children...although no one knew that but him. This man was definitely planning on doing more dastardly deeds than that. 

This town was HIS. The brats were HIS. Robbie had been here for WAY too long to even consider leaving, and he had made his mark on this town. He had friendships and although he hated to admit it, he had a best friend, Sportacus. He wasn’t lonely anymore and it was peaceful here..the kids normally left him alone when he was especially tired and respected him.  
He took a drink of coffee and sighed deeply as the warm liquid drifted down his throat, and he sniffled from a cold he had obtained during his last disguise plot. There was no way this strange visitor was going to hurt his brats. His CHILDREN. 

That word felt weird in his mouth...His. It was true that he was pretty much a Father to all of them, who didn’t have parents of their own to take care of them. He played with them, he talked with them, and on rare occasions he had even given them presents. Even Ziggy had once called him ‘Dad’ by accident, and it had shattered his heart into a million pieces. 

He had to tell Sportacus about this..before something went bad. Another adult had to be informed about the threat, but Robbie didn’t think the Mayor would even think he was telling the truth. As much as he HATED going to Sportacus for everything...it was the only option. He stood up from his chair and grabbed a piece of tattered, oily paper, and scribbled out a request for Sportacus to visit him. He sighed, dropping it in his own personal chute he developed since they all became friends, and sent it up in the sky. Within minutes, the idiotic blue blur appeared in the room. 

“You needed me?” Sportacus grinned happily, glad that Robbie was finally reaching out to others rather than doing everything by himself. “I got your mes-” 

“There’s a new threat in LazyTown.” 

With these words, Sportacus’s throat ran dry. “T..Threat? B..but I checked everything today, and yesterday, and the day-” 

“No, Sportaloon, the threat appeared today, in the form of a man named Esteban Ramirez. He says he’s here for good intentions..but...I see otherwise.” 

“I..didn’t see him...but..how do you know he’s not here for good intentions? You can’t judge a book by it’s cover, Robbie…” 

“Sportacus! LISTEN TO ME!” 

With the mention of his real name rather than a nickname, Sportacus tensed. He realized the severity of the situation and shut his mouth tight. Robbie NEVER said his name unless he was being honest. 

“When the Mayor mentioned my name and my title as the ‘Town Villain’, Esteban tensed. It was as if he was becoming defensive and was worried about a threat to his plans. I KNOW how villains act, Sportacus. I know how they deceive..." 

“You know how to do things that not even I can do.” Sportacus piped in, and put his hands on the man’s shoulders to comfort him. “I can tell you're telling the truth..I’ll look into it and maybe ask Esteban a couple of questions myself. Make him KNOW I am the town hero..” 

“Y..you do that.” Robbie grinned at Sportacus and punched him playfully in the arm as the hero began to climb the chute back to the outside world. “J..just don’t..get hurt, okay?” 

Sportacus saluted, and Robbie felt his throat close up. 

This was not going to end well.


	3. Face-Off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for my absence, but here is the next chapter guys! Get ready for very PREDATORIAL ROBBIE ROTTEN...

It was surprisingly quiet in LazyTown, which made Sportacus’s neck hair stand up in complete and utter terror. What if he was too late and Esteban had already gotten to the kids and possibly kidnapped them? He thought about Ziggy, who was extremely naive and would be the first to fall into Esteban’s traps, if he had any at all. If there’s one thing that kid can do, he can follow directions even when the directions are coming from a threat. 

He searched desperately for the new ‘citizen’, tracking the streets for most of the day until he came upon a young man propped up on Robbie’s favorite bench, reading a newspaper and looking particularly bored. The man was not a familiar face, that was for sure, and Sportacus could spot odd markings down his arm that resembled a dragon and puffs of smoke. He was definitely an odd character.

Knowing he was taught as a child to never judge a book by it’s cover, he decided to go and talk to the man. It was the only way he could determine whether Robbie was paranoid or not, and the man seemed more odd than dangerous. He approached slowly, coming up on the man and tapping on the tip of the newspaper to get his attention. 

Esteban raised his eyebrows and eyes, looking up and meeting face to face with an over-excited, blue-clad man who seemed to almost jump out of his shoes when Esteban gave him his full attention. “He..llo?” 

“Hello!” Sportacus replied in a chipper tone, trying to look friendly so he could lure information out of the man easier. “I noticed you were new in town, and came to give you an official welcome. I’m Sportacus!” 

It took everything in Esteban’s willpower to not crack up at the mention of the man’s name, and he covered his mouth in response, trying to keep the laughter at the back of his throat. “...S..sport..a..cus..?” 

“It’s an easier name for the children to use. I’m sure no one can pronounce Íþróttaálfurinn, now can they?” Sportacus laughed softly. 

“Ah..um..I’m Esteban.” Esteban tried to ignore the overly excited demeanor that Sportacus filled the air with, for it was annoying him to no end. “And..um..thank you for coming to welcome me. That was very kind of you.” 

“It’s my job! Now, what are you in town for, exactly?”

Esteban gulped. Why was everyone interested in his plans with the town? Why were people THAT suspicious of him? He had been hiding it well...all of his dastardly deeds, but they still continually bugged him about it. “I’m just here to settle, like everyone else?” 

Sportacus looked at the man, seeing a glimmer of a lie behind his eyes, and he nodded in response to hide his suspicions. “Alright then, what are you going to do after you have settled in and have properly moved into your home? Are you going to get a job..or?” 

“I’m going to get a job, yes..now why are you so concerned about that?”

“Because, I’m the Town Hero, and it is my duty to keep everyone here safe. I have been receiving information from many citizens in this town that have told me that you seem to be planning something malevolent. That is the truth.” Sportacus knew he had to threaten Esteban in some way to get the information he needed, but his heart strings still tugged because of the dastardly sin. He hated threatening people, and Number Nine had constantly berated him because of it, but he hated making people feel less than. 

“Information? From whom? And what exactly did they say?” Esteban’s temper and patience were running out, and he felt his face grow hot. 

“Confidential. But, they said you seemed malevolent and wanted to do something terrible to the town. Now...is this true, or?” 

Esteban realized that finally, he had a challenger. This was the moment he was waiting for, since the entire town was filled with bumbling idiots who always wanted him to play or do something active, even though the kids BARELY knew him. To have someone at the same mental capacity as him and actually be a threat was a beautiful thing. 

“It is true. It’s funny how you are the only one out of a town of idiots who could actually recognize that.” 

Sportacus felt a lump rise in his throat and the man seemed more devious, now letting his true nature show through his malevolent expression. “Y..y..you..I only realized it because a friend saw your true nature..” 

“A friend? Pray..do tell...what friend of yours out of this town was able to figure me out?” 

“I..I was.” 

Sportacus and Esteban turned to see Robbie, standing awkwardly a few feet away and looking tired as usual, but the dark circles under his eyes were oddly gone. He looked glamorous and luminescent, and stronger than Sportacus had ever seen him. For the first time..he could smell magic that was not his own. 

What the heck was Robbie? 

“Oh, you were, were you? Let me guess...you're Robbie Rotten, aren’t you? The mayor warned me about you..but I always saw you as a threat to my plans.” Esteban cackled in reply and stood, putting his newspaper down next to him on the bench and cracked his knuckles. 

Robbie didn’t even look fazed, and Sportacus was a bit weirded out by the situation. He looked at the two men, who looked as if they were going to fight in the middle of the town square with no questions asked. “I am, and you are in MY territory. Now GET out.” 

Sportacus had never heard Robbie raise his voice, or even seem remotely threatening until now. Robbie looked different, stronger, and more terrifying than Sportacus knew him as. He could smell the magic coming off the taller man, much like his own but definitely from a different species, and he was shocked and appalled. 10 years of living in Lazytown...and not once had he noticed that Robbie had magic.

“Territory? Well..well..I didn’t know we had a very territorial Fae living in this town. I smelled the magic, yes, and your glamour is quite good, but I didn’t realize YOU were the one who put up the wards.” 

Fae?! Sportacus turned to look at Robbie, who grimaced at him and gave him a worried look, like Sportacus would judge him for what he really was. 

“Yes, and I OWN this town. So why don’t you leave and go somewhere else before I will be forced to kill you? You may be human, but I get to decide who comes and who leaves in this town.” Robbie growled and his eyes flickered for a moment, magic rippling from his fingertips. It was a good thing all of the children were in school at this time, for Sportacus wasn’t sure Robbie would want the children to know about his new revealed heritage. 

“No, I have just as much as a right to be here as you do. Besides, I’m going to be the better villain. I’ve heard about your exploits, Rotten, and trust me..you aren’t number one. Playing with children? Dressing up in disguises that you KNOW won’t work? Come on...you have to know by now that you can only get your way by destroying those who oppose you. If I was the main villain...those children would already be dead by now-” 

In a quick moment, Esteban was flying against a wall, blood trickling from his mouth. Robbie stood, fists poised, and his eyes narrowed as he stood above Esteban, picking him up by the collar violently and growling. Esteban wasn’t afraid in the least, but he stood up and released himself from Robbie’s grasp.

“Well..just telling the truth. You're not actually a villain, are you? No..no..you play with those children..I would say your as just as much a hero as Sportacus is!” Esteban cackled, knowing his last comment had hit hard and had caused Robbie to lose his temper. 

Robbie composed himself and looked Esteban in the eye, fixing his vest and wiping the dirt off of his pants. “Listen, and listen good, okay? This is MY TOWN. These are MY BRATS. And if you even as much as LAY one finger on them, you’ll regret you were ever born.” 

Sportacus gulped as the other man was taken aback, grabbing his things and walking away from the two as fast as he could. He looked to Robbie, his eyes fearful and filled with admiration at the same time. “W..what just..h..happen...ed..”   
“Come on, I’ll explain everything in the lab..alright?”


	4. Things I've Never Told

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter? ON THE SAME DAY? Well, I'm on a writing spree and I have to make up for my absence somehow. Warning..this one gets a bit sad.

Sportacus sat on Robbie’s fluffy orange chair, an apple in his left hand as he waited for Robbie to return from wherever he had gone in the large lair. He tapped his foot impatiently and constantly adjusted himself in the chair, not used to sitting down for long periods of time. When Robbie did come back, however, he was frozen against the seat with astonishment. 

Robbie returned with no shirt on, two purple and pink colored wings sticking out from slits on his back. They were large and glamorous, their beauty luminescent and lighting the room like a candle. They glittered with every step he took, and even though he was visibly embarrassed he looked like a model. 

“S..so..t..this is what you’ve been hiding?” Sportacus couldn’t believe it. After all this time...after all these years living in Lazytown and fighting against the villain... he had NEVER noticed that the other man was harboring this secret. Usually you could smell the magic on another mythical being, but Robbie apparently was able to cover it up very well. 

“Yes, Sportaflop, this is what I’ve been hiding.” Robbie sighed and crossed the room to Sportacus, grabbing another chair and settling in it with his arms folded, as if THAT was going to cover up his wings. “Look, I didn’t want you to find out at all. Elves and Fae don’t usually get along..and the fact that we became friends...I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. With a threat in Lazytown, however, I had to assume dominance. He will of course come back, but I had to mark my territory.” 

“I..your Fae. Wait...how do you know I’m an elf? I never mentioned that to you, and I’ve never revealed my ears.” At the mention of them, Sportacus pulled off his hat to give his ears some air, and rubbed his forehead in confusion. 

“Well, before you came here, Sportaconfused, there was another Sports Elf who ran the town as well. Instead of a number 10, he wore a number 9 on his hat and on the left breast pocket of his costume. He revealed to me that he was an elf..and so I assumed that since you both were so much alike that you were an elf as well.”

“Wait...Robbie...how long have you been in Lazytown?” Sportacus’s eyes raised as he looked at the man in fear. Number 9 had died of old age two years ago...there was no way Robbie was still..

“As long as..well..since it was formed. My mother, who was full-blooded fae, moved us in..well..when I was six. So I’m thirty now..and it’s been sixty years, maybe?” 

“ROBBIE. Sixty years..and you're STILL thirty…?!” 

Robbie chuckled, like the whole situation was a joke to him and something simple to understand. “Fae magic, Sportaflop. Along with a bit of Glamour, I can stay young with no repercussions. It’s a gift I was given by my father. Now let me explain.” 

Sportacus decided to remain confused and let the man finish, for if he interrupted again he was sure to never find out the rest of his backstory. 

“I’m pretty sure you have heard of Glanni Glaepur..have you not?” 

Sportacus nodded quickly, his face contorting into a frown. Oh, he knew Glanni..from many stories that Number Nine had shared with him before he died. Glanni Glaepur was a vicious criminal who attempted to poison the town when Nine was the hero here. From what Nine had told him, he was not to be trusted, and a dangerous man. 

“Nine had mentioned him a couple of times..not in good taste.” 

“Of course he didn’t..and I regret everything I did to this town. Sportacus….I used to be Glanni Glaepur.” 

Sportacus almost fell out of the chair and dropped his apple on the floor, causing it to roll across the room. “W...WHAT?” 

“Sportacus..I’ve changed, I swear! I learned the error of my ways and I regret what happened..I regret doing what I did. I was a very evil, very idiotic and stupid person back then.” 

“My dear boy...never trust a Fae. Glanni Glaepur was the worst Fae I ever decided to trust...he tricked me, tricked the town, and almost killed everyone out of pure hate. All he wanted was money..and it was disgusting. They can NEVER be redeemed.” 

Sportacus didn’t know what to think. Nine had warned him to never trust Faes, and he was about to go against that order when Robbie revealed he was one, just because he was a good friend..but now that Robbie was revealed to be Glanni Glaepur, he felt his heart strings tug. He didn’t know what to do. Should he trust him, or turn him in? 

He couldn’t believe he had been betrayed in that way. It was bad enough Robbie had hidden the fact that he was Fae from him..but he even hid away the fact that he used to be even worse of a person than he tried to be now? To know that the same man that tried to poison a group of children many years earlier was playing in the present time with HIS group of kids was horrifying. All this time, all those disguises..Sportacus couldn’t tell anymore whether Robbie was REALLY playing with the kids, or whether he was SERIOUSLY trying to trick them into following whatever he demanded.

“R..Robbie..or Glanni...or whoever you are..I can’t believe you tricked me! All this time..all this time I thought we were friends..and you hide THIS from me? Pabbi was RIGHT. NEVER...NEVER trust a Faerie!” 

The words stung Robbie as Sportacus pushed past him, darting up the stairs and then turning to face Robbie, who was trying desperately to push the tears back into his eyelids but failing miserably. “Don’t..don’t EVER play with the children AGAIN. I don’t want to see your face. I am not risking the safety of Trixie, Stephanie, Pixel, Stingy, and Ziggy EVER AGAIN.” 

With that, the door was slammed in Robbie’s face, leaving him to cry miserably in his lonely dungeon.


End file.
